Erika had long dark eyelashes that Madonna might have coveted and a toothpaste-ad smile covered her face. All of the boys in my kindergarten liked her, but I was truly smitten. It was my first encounter with love at first sight. At "circle time" in class I rushed across the room to jam my child-sized chair next to hers. Sometimes I rammed into a few other boys who were trying the same aggressive Indy 500 maneuver. I devised excuses to walk past her house, telling my friends it was a better route home.

One day her mother came out on the front porch and said, "Erika's home. Why don't you boys come in?" Catatonia set in. Different from my private, hug-your-Erika-Teddy-bear sessions, her mother's invitation froze me in my tracks. Like zombies, we all went in and spent 15 awkward minutes giggling and shoving each other. Erika smiled, giggling a lot also. That was my first encounter with true love. Twenty years later my best friend would date her.

So, I ask you, is love at first sight spontaneous love combustion or instant lust detection? LAFS, who are devotees, are convinced that doubters simply have never "chosen." and hit with the thunderbolt. But I look around at my array of friends and acquaintances and see a pattern. They are the lost souls still in search of that one soul mate. They pass their lives fueled by electric moments, which leaves them with a series of meaningless encounters but no soul mate. Not one. So is that confusing love with the sensation of body heat?

Bella, one of my friends, is a believer. She says she can tell in the first three minutes if anything magic is ever going to happen between her and someone else. She has a short attention span and enough personal energy to power a small nuclear plant. She falls in love -- and out -- on a fairly tight schedule. In her travels she has maintained sweaty relationships on more than one continent in the same month. She needs to think love can happen in a flash because she is so busy. And she can handle it.

Another friend of mine, Anita, married a man she hated on the first date. She thought him to be stuffy, academic and formal. She says, "I couldn't have found a spark in this relationship if I'd had a electron microscope." She dated him a second time because her friends insisted, pointing out that all her previous loves were either living big on fantasies and little on cash -- or had major issues with commitment. "At least this one looks normal," they cried.

Anita gambled on a second date -- wasting, as she saw it, a perfectly good Friday night just to get her buddies off her case. To her surprise, Mr. Lukewarm turned out to be a great human being, a bit shy in the beginning but with a charming standup comedy side that he started displaying on date 7. He was also self-supporting and adoring. You could say she fell in love at seventh sight.

Which makes me wonder: Can blind people fall in love at first sight? Or is it first touch? Or smell? Which brings into the equation: What part of the initial glimpse is the one that announces, "This is the person for me"? Think back honestly to the firecracker beginnings of what you remember as love at first sight. What did it for you? Did it bring you a warm rush of sensuality? Did you get that feeling that you had known this person forever? Did a sense that some powerful force had just passed through solid matter and connected the two of you? Or did the love object just look faintly familiar -- like that cute guy or girl you had a crush on in kindergarten?

It is possible to read body language accurately enough to recognize a quality person standing in your high beams, but you could be mistaken. It would be an imbecilic move to marry someone you met 48 hours previously. Such an act usually doesn't work out as proven by the published success rates. They aren't too impressive. So when you feel like circling around some new acquaintance like a moon around Jupiter, slow down. Enjoy the moment. Acknowledge the chemistry without making monumental moves. Don't interpret maximal underwear twists and twitches as a sign of long-term feasibility. Remember that love and a successful partnership build on a history together. People in many ways grow to love each other.

But if you're a man, you may have a different response to the question, "Can you fall in love at first sight?" The men I talked to offered variations on: "I'm in love every time I see a beautiful girl across the room." And even though they often added a self-aware chuckle following their statement, there is some heavy evidence that says men process attraction and love in a different manner than women do. I did talk with a guy named Zak who emphatically stated that he thought there was alchemy in true love that could be determined in a flash. He is a songwriter. Enough said.

LAFS is always a possibility, like lottery winnings and snowdrifts in July. Instead of shutting the door to such a great opening, you may as well check it out. It's about timing. Don't ever think love only comes in "Lightning Bolts" or "Early Fireworks". Love comes packaged in many interesting gift boxes. Some love affairs march in the room and jump up and down on the bed, others quietly stroll on in through the back door. And if you really think love at first sight is a total myth, watch the new owner of a puppy. Bingo.

EDITOR'S NOTE:
While Marty comes off as a skeptic, really he is a true romantic.