Can You Get Married in Heaven ??
by The Webmaster

THE LOCK BOX
by Marie Villarreal

My Gosh, I'm scared! Not only for myself, as a new retiree, but for my next generation coming up, which is due to retire in twelve years, and the next generation to follow that one, which is due to retire in forty-two years. AL Gore, in his campaign to win the presidency of our United States, warned the three fifths of our population who voted for him that our Social Security Fund would be poised for rape if Dubya Bush won out over him. Well, my fellow citizens, her skirts are up and her "Lock Box" is exposed!

OUR SNIPER AND GRIPPER IS BACK!    by Charlie "Chuck" Odessa

Joe Pump says:
You should be careful of what you wish for. You just might get it. I've been complaining to the water company since I moved here that my pressure wasn't high enough. They would come up my house and put a pressure meter on the outside faucet and it would read 30 lbs. I was told that they only had to give me between 25 and 35 lbs. A couple of years ago they put a new water main up the hill. Now the pressure is 95 lbs.

A SNIP n' BIT OF A HISTORY LESSON    by Martin "Marty" Crenshaw

Taken from our e-mail file, this history lesson comes to us from one of our most prolific writer-contributors, Anthony Ghezzo.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ATE LAST SUMMER?    by Alcamo "Al" Passagento

Most overweight women have inaccurate memories of meal size. More than 90% of them underreported how much they eat, according to a new study made by the American Diabetes Association.

YET MORE STORY ENHANCERS    by Marie Villarreal

We continue with the next three story enhancers that you can pepper your story with. As an exercise, with a pen and pad poised on my lap, I watch one or two television soap operas a day. I jot down the plot motivators and the story enhancers they use on every episode. As I watch, the point of my pen flies across my unlined pad! It's dizzying how those writers utilize every craft-writing tool at their disposal, over and over again.

WRITER'S STORIES FROM OUR E-MAIL    by Genviev Pannos

Like the 'Yuppie Community', it seems that our 'Geriatric Community' is as lively and doing as well. We are so pleased at the influx of e-mail we have received which represents that part of our society. Here is a poignant story about a pet held dear by one of those couples.

ODES TO CARS THAT WON'T DIE!    by Mac Meguire

I was amazed at the e-mail that came to us in reference to our feature on old, or should I say, Survivor Vehicles. I know that the DMV says get rid of your 'old car' and there are commercials all the time advising us to give our ancient stand-bys to charity as a favor to the environment, but somehow, if a car has service us well, especially in this world of throw away vehicles, we cherish them.

CROSSING FEATURE LINES    by Jericho Van Orman

Actually, this e-mail comes out of Chuck Odessa's SNIPES n' GRIPES e-mail file. He handed it to me one day last week and told me that he couldn't keep up with his sniper and griper's many snipes and gripes!

CRAZY MAKING    by Roy "Cliff" Evans

My editor handed me this E-Mail and wondered what we could do with it. Well, I stuck it in my pocket and pondered over it for a week. I did decide to try them and here are some of the my disasterous results.

SOMEMORE GAMBLIN' ANSWERS TO E-MAILS    by Ha3ry Giusto

"Is it legal to buy someone's bet in craps at a casino? For instance if someone bet the Don't Pass Line and it was after the coming out roll, could you buy his bet?" asked one reader.

CRAFTSMEN AT WORK    by Nathaniel "Nate" Yaekel

I don't think you can really appreciate what creative craftsmen can do until you watch them work. It's one thing to admire a piece of beautifully blown glass in a shop window or the delicate workmanship of lovely lace, but to be there when the artist's vision begins to take shape is a special treat.

"How much do you want it to be?"    by The Webmaster

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