MomZoid INDEX
4PointsPress.com

A
Answers:
Yes, your Mom can answer all questions, maybe not to your satisfaction, however, keep in mind, your Momma is always right.


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B
Bit:
Greater bit-depth translates to a larger mouth.


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C
Contrast:
Contrast is the range between the darkest and lightest moods of the MOM, while brightness determines the intensity of the mood. A MOM with low contrast tends to look dull and flat - and is probably safer that way.


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D
DARE:
A simple word that implies a challenge like "I dare you to blow milk thru your nose." As the so-called drug wars of the 1980's & 1990's intensified, the police decided they needed a "piece of the profit". Darell Gates, the police chief of Los Angeles at the time, came up with the idea to have police go to schools and scare the shit out of kids with nasty stories about using drugs. The program, as it is today in 1998, cannot distinguish between legal and illegal drugs and therefore throws the blanket over all of it. Alcohol, a legal drug, is probably used many times over by the same police force that teaches these D.A.R.E. programs. The program is a FAILURE. Kids see it as a mockery of the reality that drugs do exist in our society. D.A.R.E. seeks to recruit kids as informants and become foot soldiers for their War on Drugs. Moderation, education and knowledge of the usage of drugs in our society is a more successful message, however, this is not the message of D.A.R.E. This program was stuffed down the throats of our schools at taxpayer expense. So, what is the legacy of this program?
  1. more drinking by teens, probably because they learned that smoking a joint will lead to more dangerous drugs (like alcohol?)

  2. more experimentaation with lethal drug combo's.

  3. No distinction between the messager and the message.

    Have you heard the latest?
  • D.A.R.E. to keep cops off donuts (Donut Abuse Resistance Education)

  • D.A.R.E. (Drugs are really expensive)



Dynamic range:
The ability to register a wide range of tonal values -- something from a near whisper to a far holler. A MOM with good dynamic range will seem brighter and give them more visible detail. Generally, a quicker the response number is determined by the maximum dynamic range of the MOM.


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E
Exposure:
Use SPF-1000.


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F
Father:
The hairy parent.


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G
Gamma:
The Grandmother.


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H
Hooked on Phonics:
A company that made millions of dollars providing teaching material to youths that did not receive proper reading and spelling education during their K-6 years of education. See: WHOLE LANGUAGE. Actually, because teachers weren't making good bucks in schools teaching the basics to kids, they banded for whole language based education. This would ensure a "dumbing-down" of the kids, which would then create a new market and demand for phonics based methods. Thus, during the 1980's, those that could afford to hire tutors or invest in "phonic type" education programs did so, thus, putting THEIR kids ahead of the curve. Of course, the schools still took credit stating the Whole Language concept was working. By the 1990's an advertising slogan now appeared: "Hooked on Phonics Worked For Me!" Of course it's credibility was somewhat questionable coming from a bunch of newly rich teachers!


Highlights:
The day the kid leaves.


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I
I.F.:
Instant Fetus - sometimes referred to aas Invitro Fertilization. Earlier references also include "test-tube babies".


Imagesetter:
The friends of your child.


Interpolated resolution:
Resolution enhanced through persistent persuation, known as NAGGING. Interpolated resolution may capture less detail than the optical, but it is useful for certain tasks.


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L
Line art:
A type of single-bit image that is just purely black and white, such as a pencil or ink sketch. Line art may also include one-color images or drawings. Either way, it gets posted on the refrigerator.


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M
Midtones:
The parts of the MOM that have lighter and darker areas, at around 50% gray.


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O
Optical resolution:
The true resolution of the MOM and the key factor in determining the amount of detail visible in her eyes. Optical resolution is one type of resolution; the other is interpolated resolution or JUST Run for the hills, Kid.


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P
Papa:
A cute name for the Daddy. Also see Father.


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R
Resolution:
There are two types of resolution: optical resolution, and interpolated resolution.


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S
Shadows:
The dark areas that MOM will cast as she is standing over the kid.


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T
Terminator:
A special resistor or a block of resistors within the MOM that signals the Last Nerve in her Body has been activated. Terminators act as a filter to clear out "noise" caused by multiple KID events and/or malfunctioning.


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W
Whole Language:
This is a misnomer. More like "partial language". This method of teaching the basics of the English language was adopted in school districts who professed themselves to be "progressive". Actually, it was the scam of the 80's (1980's). Schools with banners identifying themselves as "Blue Ribbon Schools" typically participated in "educational experiments" using young children as their lab rats. Decades of proven methods using phonics, grammer and repetitive spelling drills was abandoned to embrace Whole Language. Substituted was exposure to literature well above the readiness of the student. The belief was the student would absorb the language by having the teacher "read" to students. Discussion would then follow, introducing the concept of CRITICAL THINKING. Well, it failed - kids couldn't read, write or spell which reflected in low test scores and California now ranked in the bottom 5 of the nation.


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Z
Zero-Tolerance:
This is a misnomer. Typically people who propose ideas and solutions under this phrase are Zero In-Tolerant. Techncally people in this group could be catergorized as ZIT's. They are the festuring sore on human kind feeding off from useless crap without proper information for an effective treatment. Advice: I know I've always told you never to pop the ZIT's On Your Face, however, I clarify this advice for your mental and physical safety. If these ZIT's are In Your Face, then by all means - POP them with logic, facts, patience and wisdom - they won't know what to do except explode! - just stand back so the crap won't soil your soul.


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